I need to vent.
First, a quick update on the nests I posted a few weeks ago. Sadly, the Hummingbirds didn’t survive. One baby hatched but did not seem to thrive, the second egg remained intact. The assumption is, mama knew there were problems and finally abandon the nest. R.I.P. little Hummers! On a happier note, here are pictures of The Dove Family which appear to have two nestlings. Cute or what??

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So on to my rant.
These past few weeks have been the most trying times I have had in a long time, 79.6 weeks to be exact. Each and every day has been a struggle and I am hoping the light at the end of the tunnel comes sooner, rather than later. I am equipped with a lot more coping skills this time, but the disease seems to be getting the best of me at this point. If you know me well or have followed my site for period of time, you are aware I have O.C.D. This linked post explains….

“Seven years ago, after experiencing a traumatic event I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (O.C.D.) I had a type, similar to what they refer to as Trichotillomania, a form of hair pulling. Long story short, I would spend an average of 5 to 12 hours a day pulling my hair out, eventually leaving me completely bald. As fast as those babies grew back in, I would yank them right back out. There was nothing anyone could do or say that would justify my stopping. The urge or ‘impulse’ has often been described as a hiccup in your brain, or a brain lock, preventing your brain from shifting gears. Wigs (later dubbed “the helmets”) and scarves did a great job of covering the physical effects, but the emotional and psychological damage it caused was often more than I could bear. This not only impacted my life, affecting my ability to function in the outside world….it unfortunately took a toll on everyone around me……After six years, with the support of my loved ones by my side, many hours of therapy, medications, a lot of sweat, tears, prayers and determination. I (toot-toot) have reached a personal milestone. As of October 5th, 2008 it has been one year since I have tugged, pulled or mutilated my hair in any way!!!”

I have relapsed.
My heart is breaking. I have already begun the cycle of pulling/damaging/cutting. Luckily it wasn’t too bad this time and I managed to keep most of my hair.

I have increased my meds. and am doing a lot of sleeping I will continue to fight this demon. I would appreciate any thoughts and prayers to help me get through this!

More prayers needed….
My Aunt Bobbie was admitted in to I.C.U. this week with pneumonia and other health related issues. Not only is she probably the best aunt in the world, she has been through a lot and is a very strong woman. They are thinking she will be in a regular room within the next few days!….love you Aunt Bobbie, I will see you soon!
Family friends that we have known for close to 40 years had a horrible accident in their family this week. Five family members, ages 1 to 25 were traveling to Boise, Idaho and were in an accident causing their vehicle to flip 3 times. As lucky as they are to all be alive, they were hurt pretty bad. The oldest was left with a broken back, one of her babies has a fractured skull.
My heart goes out to you all!