Sun 7 Nov 2010
Blast from the past,,,
Originally posted January 2nd, 2008
If The Shoe Fits! While out looking for a new pair of slippers, I came across a Mr. Potato Head slipper. I jokingly told my shopping companion, (no name, gave me $ and chocolate!) “too bad there’s only one of those…I would have gotten them!” A lady, slightly older than myself overheard me and asked, “if I find the other one for you, you’ll buy them?” Uh-oh!!! “well yeah, if they’re my size.” She gave me the look, you know the…try them on you idiot before I dig through 3,472 mismatched slippers to find the matching Mr. Potato Head.
I did. It fit. Long story short, I got new slippers.
Dumpster Diving! So I have my new slippers and quite honestly I grew very fond of them. I wore those little guys all the time. One night…one late night I, (living in an apartment complex at the time) took the trash out to the dumpster. I was, as usual on the phone. As I hurled the trash into the dumpster, so went the phone. What the….do I do now? (after a small conference with my ducks) it was clear I needed to go in after it. I went and got a patio chair from my porch. Hoping the person on the phone realized what had happened, I encouraged them to keep screaming my name so I could find my phone. After all it was very dark and I didn’t want to spend a second longer in there than needed.
I got in and got the phone. Just as I was ready to get out a car pulls in, next to the dumpster. O.K., be still, he will never see you… (I wonder how many rats are lurking below me ready to attack me?) I was grossed out. I was freaking out. The person on the phone, Deanna had hung up, the ducks were too smart to ever get in there in the first place. I was on my own. Just get out of your damn car already and go inside. I don’t know if he saw me or the chair outside the dumpster but something sparked his curiosity. “Hi” was all I could think to say. “You o.k?” he asked. “Yes, just dropped something.” Was the most intelligible thing I could think of. “Oh….” (so why on God’s earth are you still standing in there talking to me?) I knew I had to get out sooner or later…here it goes. Dignity? Pride? Gone! This man (and I would use his name if I knew it!) will always remember me as the 40ish year old lady who, in the middle of the night he watch climb out of a dumpster, clad in p.j.’s , one Mr. Potato Head slipper at a time!
I’ve Really Lost It Now! I loved my Mr. Potato slippers so much. But they had walked the depths of the dumpster. No matter how many times I washed them, I just couldn’t bring myself to wear them again. (they, were what separated me from the attack rats!)
Off to Wal-Mart I go to get another pair. None. Another Wal-Mart. Zilch. The next, nope. But check this out, they had….Mrs. Potato Head!!!!!! ONE pair in MY size. I snatched the babies up faster than…well, I snatched them up fast.
Tra-la-la-la la-la la! I got new slippers!
I continued my little shopping trip (doing the happy dance every now and then!!) then headed up to the register, anxious to pay for my new treasures….that’s when I noticed, IT was missing. The left Mrs. Potato Head slipper was gone. Breathe. It has to be here somewhere. I re-walked my path. Nothing. Re-walked it again, looking under, over and around the racks. Nothing. I am panicking now. I NEED HELP! I asked a kind associate in the area if she had found a sole slipper lying around. No. Bless this Wal-Mart associates heart, she saw my meltdown coming on and offered to help me look and even enlisted the help of another associate. “What did it look like?”
“Could you be more specific?”
“Pink and purple.”
We walked the store, than again. Honest to God, I was near tears. I think that is why they were so willing to go above and beyond to help me.
“These must be very special slippers,”
“Are they for you?”
The nice (but nosey) lady then gets a beep on her Wal-Mart walkie-talkie. Seems I need to be a little more specific about what these special slippers look like. Now, I have a choice…walk away NOW and never look back or tell these nosey associates my slipper business. I chose to tell. Hmmm mmm…she clears her throat. Amused and a little pissed at the same time, she relays the details on her Wal-Mart walkie-talkie. She assures me at that point they will keep their eyes open; they will call me if they find anything, yadda, yadda. What? Are they not helping me look anymore? Isn’t that their job?? It was right about then, I hear the announcement. It was loud, very loud and very clear. “Will the (annoying) lady who lost her (left) Mrs. Potato Head slipper (and had the whole flippen store searching for it as if it were a lost child) please come to the front of the store (so everyone can see who you are and laugh at you hysterically) we have found your slipper.
Don’t judge. Please.